Is it O.K. to be Happy?

I believe learning how to be happy is one of the most generous things you can do.

Last year for my birthday, I had scheduled a massage for myself. I have only ever had two professional massages in my life, and they were amazing!

But a few days before my birthday, I called and cancelled the massage. I told myself that it was too expensive and that I wouldn’t enjoy it as much since I’d have to wear a mask (thanks, COVID).

But if I’m honest, the real reason I cancelled it was because I didn’t think I deserved it.

So many of us live with the burden of deciding if we “deserve” things.

Do we deserve to get a massage when we haven’t really worked that hard?

Do we deserve to go out to dinner with friends when our kids will have to stay home and eat peanut butter sandwiches?

Do we even deserve to be happy when there is so much suffering in the world?

How can we enjoy these things without feeling guilty? Shouldn’t we be giving all our money to the poor and living like Mother Theresa?

Just because we get a massage doesn’t mean we are incredibly selfish and materialistic. Just because we treat ourselves to a Netflix marathon once in a while doesn’t make us a lazy human being.

True–daily massages or t.v. binges might be an indication that your priorities are out of whack.

Here’s a different view: taking care of yourself and indulging in an occasional personal treat is the best gift you can give to others. It’s not being selfish. It’s being generous.

Please forgive the over-used analogy, but remember what they say on airplanes. Should there be a loss in cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop in front of you. Please secure your own mask before helping others with theirs.

Yes, put your own mask on before your help your children with theirs. Put on your own before you help your friends, or your husband, or strangers. Because if you run out of oxygen, you won’t be helping anyone.

When you feel good, you do good.

melissa b. howell

So spending a little money on yourself for “oxygen” is actually the wise thing to do.

Spending a little time on yourself for “oxygen” is the generous thing to do.

When your physical and mental health are improving, your relationships with yourself and others are also improving. It just follows naturally. When you feel good, you do good.

Excuse me. I would write more, but I need to schedule a massage.

Tell me in the comments what you’re going to do today to increase your happiness!

How are you doing? No, really. How is your life going right now? Take my Life Assessment and get your Life Score. You’ll get customized suggestions and links to resources to help you optimize your home and your brain based on your score. Click here now to take your Life Assessment!

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